Sandra Rodriguez Bicknell: How To Make Your Diamond Sparkle

 

Forgiveness is a process of letting go. Sandra Rodriguez Bicknell, the author of Cuts of a Diamond, has lived a life of love, pain, and forgiveness. Join Karen Pulver as she sits in discussion with The Goddess of Sparkle, who teaches us about forgiveness, sharing your memoir coming from a place of helping others, and having clarity of your life and your purpose. Sandra’s story teaches us an important thing. We come to this world raw and life cuts different sides of our journey. The experiences we have alter the cuts whether they become sharper or under pressure or smoother. Just like a diamond, the stone can have many cuts, our life, can create many cuts. Who we become through our journey, and when you can stand up for yourself, you can shine, just like a beautifully polished stone. Listen in and learn how you can forgive as well even through intense pain and fear and become the shiniest cut of the diamond you are meant to be.

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Sandra Rodriguez Bicknell: How To Make Your Diamond Sparkle

Learning The Art Of Forgiving And Letting Go

Thank you for joining us on the show. Tell me, what is your story? Think about your life? What types of experiences have you had? If you were to tell someone your story, what would it be about? What roadblocks did you encounter? What wonderful surprises did you have? We all should write down our story because it can be therapeutic. Our guest has done that. Sandra Rodriguez Bicknell is a woman and spiritual being. She was born to Cuban immigrants living and working in New York City. At the age of 21, a serendipitous encounter launched her modeling career and transformed her life, as she knew it. Before long, Sandra was traveling the world as a top international model.

At the age of 25, she married and moved to her husband’s homeland, Jamaica, to start a family and built a successful jewelry business. The marriage ended after six years and two children. Sandra was left to pick up the pieces both for her well-being as well as for her children. She fell in love again but after a blissful ten-year romance, she was once again on her own to start over and reinvent herself. After some time, she rekindled a romance that she had left behind. This also was not meant to be.

She has decided to use her experiences to comfort and guide those who are experiencing the same darkness that she has endured. Fulfilling her lifelong dream as the best-selling author of Cuts of a Diamond where she talks about her perspective on love, forgiveness, and human nature, and a writing coach helping to inspire women to embrace the power of self-discovery. She leads her signature writing program, Rewrite Your Story, designed to lead you through a journey of introspection, change the narrative, and celebrate the victories and the writers’ news. She works specifically with changemakers, new thought leaders, healers, and facilitators who want to anchor their message through writing their first book. Welcome, Sandra, to the show.

Sandra, thank you for joining us on Grateful Goddesses.

Thank you so much for having me.

All the way from Jamaica.

That’s right.

It’s nice to see you and to have you on the show. Tell us a little bit about your story.

“Forgive and forget” does not exist. You have to forgive and let go. Click To Tweet

I was born and raised in New York City. My family is from Cuba. They left Cuba during the revolution and went to New York City. My parents were super strict and protective of my sister and me. At a serendipitous encounter, I was “discovered” by a modeling agency and off to Paris at the age of 21. It was a wonderful career. After being raised in a Cuban heavily cultured environment, protective, private school, and then all of a sudden going to Paris, it was such a big eye-opening experience and exciting. I had a great career.

I went from cover to cover, big campaigns. I’m 5’7” so it was mind-blowing. I was like, “What are these people seeing?” I didn’t get it. I went along and had a ball. It was wonderful. In 1990, Miami Beach became the hub of the modeling industry. I moved to South Beach at the age of 23. Small apartments and South Beach have been cleaned up. There were models and RVs everywhere. It’s surreal. I was there modeling. I was there for over a year when I met my ex-husband. We were set up. Within eight months, I moved to Jamaica and I’ve been here ever since.

You have two children. What happened?

GG 46 | Letting Go
Cuts of a Diamond: Turn Even Your Most Heartbreaking Experiences into a Thing of Beauty

Two grown children. They’re adults now. Once I had the children, they’d grown up. They’d gone off to university and all that. A series of patterns repeating with relationships and decisions that were based off, in retrospect, insecurities and a whole bunch of other influences, I decided to move to Los Angeles. I wanted to go far away from where I didn’t know anyone and where I could start fresh and I could reinvent myself. I was going to write my book. The book that I thought about writing for 25 years. Finally, I said, “I’m doing it.” I went to LA and wrote my book. After I wrote my book, I came back home.

When you left your husband, it was a pivotal moment. Can you tell us about that a little bit?

In 1997, I was married and we had small children. That’s when I realized the marriage wasn’t working out. The reason why I came to Jamaica is I could not stay in the marriage. It was too much for me. I was very unhappy. I moved along. I had another long-term relationship. In my last relationship, where we were together for about seven years, I started noticing that pattern after pattern, I was doing things that were making me unhappy. It was affecting me physically and that’s when I said, “I’m out.” It was like a switch of the light where I said it. I got out of bed. I felt it coming. I knew that something wasn’t right. At that time, for the first time, I prepared. I’ve gotten a little apartment. I had only what I needed in the apartment for about 3, 4 months where I was preparing, “I’m going to watch to see how this moves.” When I realized that it wasn’t going in the direction that I knew I deserved and that was right for me, I got up and left.

That took a lot of courage to get up like that and leave. You used how you felt inside. It wasn’t working for you. If anyone is reading and they’re struggling with that, I’m sure you’ll be their inspiration of what to do for yourself. You wrote your book, Cuts of a Diamond and it’s your memoir. It’s your story.

It’s my spiritual journey through love, heartache, forgiveness, and everything in between. It is everything that I experienced in my life from a perspective of observation and not blame. I feel it’s important that if you’re sharing your story, you share your story and how it happened to you, how you felt about it. Look at it from all perspectives. That’s how you share a story that supports and helps others.

We’re going to bring on our featured goddesses because we do want to talk about all those aspects of your story, especially the title of your book. Dena would like to ask a question.

GG 46 | Letting Go
Letting Go: You have to find a way to forgive and let go and then in time you will forget as you will no longer be attached and you can move forward.

 

I’m curious about the title, how you chose it, what it means, and the things about the choice you made.

I had another title because you don’t choose your title until after you’ve written your book. I realized that it is about the cuts of a diamond. We come to this world raw and not knowing a lot. Our life cuts us and cuts different sides. The longer and the more you live and the more experiences you have, the sharper the cuts. After a while, under pressure, you create this diamond that is who you become through these journeys. You polish up. When you stand for yourself, you shine. I was also in the jewelry business for nineteen years. My family was in the jewelry business. Growing up, jewelry is always in my life and I write about it in my book. I felt it was important to connect the two. Cuts of a Diamond was born from both.

As you said that, I realized that it makes total sense, a diamond, all the cuts, and then shining it and polishing it. You talked about forgiveness. I personally struggle with that. I am learning. That’s what this goddess’s journey is about. I’m learning from various guests. I’m learning from my featured goddesses. Forgiveness, how do we do that? You had some difficult struggles, yet you forgave people. Could you talk about that and forgiving yourself?

We all have natural reactions. We need to respect that and understand our human nature that is innate in us. Click To Tweet

People think that you forgive and everything is gone. It’s not. We are human beings. Our nature is either anger, resentment, fear, all the things that come in our conscious mind and thinking about things or we’re triggered by a memory. It doesn’t go away. The saying, “Forgive and forget.” You do have to find a way to forgive and to forgive, you let go. When you let go, it doesn’t mean that it didn’t matter or it didn’t mean anything. You have to find a way to have faith to know that happened and we need it to move forward.

Releasing that anger or resentment or whatever the pain is, then we’re releasing that energy flow between you and that person or that occurrence or whatever it is that happened. You release it. When you release it, you’re able to let it go. Forget comes because you’re no longer attached to that thing that happened to you. I can’t say that it’s gone completely in all circumstances. I’ve been hurt many times. Many things do come up that remind me and upset me. It’s like a little weed that grows. We can’t expect it to be gone. It grows and it comes back. It’s for us to nurture it and understand it and love it and allow it but then let it go.

Do you tell the person who has hurt you, “I forgive you,” or is it more within yourself to thank the experience, thank the person for teaching you even as hard as it was and then release it?

I have done both. I have done the personal forgiveness in your eyes, face to face. It’s okay. It’s done. It’s in the past. We all move with the best we can. We all have the tools that we have. We all have the experiences we have. I feel most of the time, things are not done intentionally. It’s done through ignorance possibly but not intentionally. For me, you have to find that in your heart. On another occasion that I forgave profoundly, I was listening to this audiobook, The Shack. During the part of the movie that he forgives, I was washing my hands and I felt forgiveness washed over me. The water washed over my hands. It was such a physical feeling, visceral forgiveness, profound feeling of washing away and I let it go. At other times, I write a letter. I write about it. I tell the person how much I am unhappy and then I forgive. After that, I either burn it or let it go.

I’ve done that. I’ve written a letter to different people. That’s saved somewhere but I like the burning part. Camille?

Thank you, Sandra. You mentioned in Cuts of a Diamond a lot about human nature. What did you mean by that?

What I mean about human nature is how we are as human beings. People say, “We’re moving out of 3D into the 5D. We’re evolved and awaken.” We forget that we’re human beings. At the end of the day, we’re human beings. We’re conditioned. We have learned behavior. There’s so much that we pick up. Those are the outer experience, the things that influence us. As human nature, you can see how clear it is when you compare yourself to an animal, to a dog that is jealous, protective, nervous, and excited. They’re not conditioned to be that way. That’s the way they are.

We have to remember that we’re human beings. We have these natural behaviors, these natural reactions. We have to respect that. We have to have compassion for that. If we’re going to have love in this world, we have to see all of us as human beings that are here on this planet and say, “There’s a level of human nature that is innate in us.” Yes, we can work on it. We work through it. We grow from it but it’s there. It’s something that is born in us. It’s inside of us.

How did you decide how much to share or even to write your book? You share a lot. What gave you the courage to share that much knowing that you might use it in the book but also the courage to coach others?

I did not know what I was going to share, to be honest with you. I knew I had a story and I wanted to share it with the world. When you’re writing a book and when you’re sharing your story, there’s got to be a purpose, there’s got to be a reason. I’m not, “By the way, this happened to me.” There is a reason, conclusion, and purpose. You’re supporting others through their journey so that they don’t feel alone. If you’re going to write a book, it has to have that behind it. I had to keep that in mind. I had to remember who exactly am I speaking to. Who do I want to support? A lot of it was me years before and thinking about, “If I had this information or if I read this book, I would be able to go through it without feeling alone. Also, possibly have the strength to cut the pattern sooner or break it faster because I’d see other people’s journeys.” For me, that was the purpose.

I had support. I looked for someone to help me with my book writing, which I knew that if I didn’t, it would take a long time. I wouldn’t know where to start. I was feeling overwhelmed. I did try and I realized I need the support. This is my story in this little book. I was able to choose my words, that’s one thing that I feel is important. Whether you’re in a conversation or you’re writing something, choose your words and be mindful. I can tell you a whole story in a paragraph by being mindful of the words I use and how I say them. I have two grown children. I have people in my life that I adore that we’re going to read it. I had to be mindful of what I said. Pointing fingers and blaming everybody is not going to be helpful for anybody. I needed to make sure that I stayed on topic, stayed focused, and shared what it was that I wanted to put out there to support others.

GG 46 | Letting Go
Letting Go: Share your story through observation and not blame, try to look at it through all sides and how it happened to you and that is how it will support and help others.

 

Everything that you’re saying resonates with me. I have started my journey of telling stories on stage with different groups who give you that opportunity. Essentially, you have five minutes to tell this story. You have to think about every single word. You have to memorize it because that’s part of the rules. The craft of storytelling as well is to be able to speak succinctly in general. Everything that you’re saying is important. My background is in technical writing. I try to make everything as concise as possible. I haven’t worked with a coach before. You seem to have mastered this craft. Are there other suggestions for people who want to share their stories? You gave a lot of good highlights. Is there more that you would want to share about how you get started on this journey of writing your own story?

Number one, why? Why are you writing it? If you stay in that space of why you then remember to keep that place in your heart focused on the purpose of the writing. When you are focused on the purpose of your writing, you’re able to stay within that. Be very clear with your outline. People are like, “Do your outline and write everything.” It has to be purposeful. It has to be spontaneous. It puts you through a process where you write and write. There, you’ll find the juicy words because that’s where when you’re not paying attention, you’re not thinking and not overwhelmed with the specific. That and also being clear on who you’re talking to. Who is this for? I can’t express it enough. How is your reader going to be different after reading your book?

Who would you say your audience is? Who were you envisioning?

I was envisioning anyone who was making choices. You want to be clear, maybe on a demographic or age. For me, it was anyone who was finding themselves making choices and decisions around fear.

Many times, people would say to me, even with Grateful Goddesses, “Who’s your target audience?” It bothers me sometimes when I get that question. I could say women over 35. I think it’s more about what people are going through, the action, the feeling. It’s to help anyone at any age who is struggling or trying to find themselves or wants to be inspired or empowered and learn from a guest goddess like you.

If you can stay in the space of WHY, then you can stay in the purpose of your writing and be clear on the WHO. Click To Tweet

Thank you.

We’re all curious about the 90 days part.

Especially if you’re writing a memoir, you don’t need to do research. It’s all inside of us. We don’t need to go to a mountaintop. People don’t do that. People don’t take sabbaticals. Celebrities and all these people don’t leave their lives to write their book. It’s the commitment to sit down and write your book. Take the time to be committed to that and only that. For me, I’m able to do that because I am focused on making sure that you’re taking care of the task at hand this week and this week only. You’re not worried about what we have to do next week or what you had to do the week before.

We have two meetings. The first one is instructions, “This is what you’re doing. Stay focused. Complete this.” By the end of the week, are we on task? Have we completed this? We then move along. Everything is connected to the next step and it all comes together. I wrote three chapters in one day because I was already prepared. I’ve done the homework. We don’t start writing until week 4 or 5. There are many parts of a book that we forget to write. There are many different parts and aspects of a book that needs to be taken care of and need to be understood, shared, seen, and felt before we even start writing our book. Once that is done, the writing part is a breeze.

Does that answer your question, Rachel, about the process? It sounds like you hold people accountable.

I hold people to hold themselves accountable. We have a service.

You’re not like the school teacher that says, “You didn’t do your homework.”

No. I let them know that this is it, “We’re doing week four this week. If you don’t do it, you will not be balanced.” I find that my clients get excited because they see the result. You see everything you do. Week by week, you’re like, “I can’t believe that I have gotten this part done.” Each part helps and supports the self-investigation around the topic that you’re sharing as well. It’s exciting. They’re ready for the next class. They’re ready for the next call because they’re excited and they’re not overwhelmed. I find that making sure that you’re doing what you need to do when you’re on task is the motivation to stay.

The feeling of being overwhelmed can paralyze people. They don’t know where to start. Rachel?

I want to understand, you do coaching. It’s one on one coaching. It’s a 90-day process. Assuming your client follows your lead and your structure, by 90 days, you should have written your life story.

I wrote my book in 90 days. I did not have the support that I offer. What I did is I saw, I experienced it, and I said okay, “This would help me retain the work and remember and have all of the other support that I felt I could have used.” I incorporated it and that’s why I have the one-on-one, which is different from what I had. It’s one-on-one, we meet, and we cover all aspects of the book. By the end of it, you have a complete manuscript and then I present it to my publishers as well. That’s also exciting. I want to get it done. It’s 90 days. It’s a process that works. It’s a process that supports your journey in telling your story and hopefully creating something from it.

What would you say is the hourly commitment per week to accomplish this?

In the beginning, the first 2, 3 weeks, we probably spend about 4 to 5 hours a week, including our two hours together. It’s fill-in-the-blanks, fill this out, answer these questions, respond to this. It’s not heavy. The whole process is not heavy until you’re starting to write. You also allocate specific times for writing each chapter because you’ve learned what works for you. There are times that you’re running around. I remember spinning around my apartment and I was like, “What am I going to write? How am I going to get this out?” You go through the overwhelm, then it comes and you write it. You get it down.

It sounds like the writer’s block that people talk about, you help them through it. You hold their hand. You say, “We’re going to do it.” I want to sign up. It sounds great. I have stacks of journals since I was a little girl. Do you ever work with people that we could pull out stories or I could use that as research into myself to write my memoir?

You can use it as research. Even if they have stuff or anything was written down or if they’ve started, we’re starting from scratch.

From where the place that you are now and not so much from the person you are then writing it. It’s who you are now looking back.

GG 46 | Letting Go
Letting Go: When you are writing your book, there needs to be a purpose, who are you speaking to and what do you want to support.

 

Looking back or looking forward or sharing however it is that you want because it all comes up. There’s no same way for everybody because as soon as you start writing and investigating, things come up for you. I would look back at pictures and I would use things that would remind me of those moments because I didn’t want to leave anything out. You do your research and you can go through your journals but when we start to write, this is coming from your heart. It’s not wrapped up in the thinking and the overwhelm. It’s trying to allow this process to go through you.

I might be mistaken but I read somewhere that when a person finishes their story, do you give them a diamond? You do something.

I have the Rewrite Your Story program. In that six-week program, we rewrite our story. We begin from the now and what our perspective is on what it is that we’re thinking now and how we’re feeling now. We change the narrative. We celebrate the victories through the process of writing. We rewrite your story and celebrate with a piece of jewelry.

That you designed.

That we designed together, I got some pieces that we create based on where we are. A charm or something, anything that you want to use as that symbol of celebration and victory.

Dena, do you have a question?

I’m curious to know how many books you’ve written with clients. Are there ever times where the client stops midway, “I can’t do this? I’m done. I don’t want to do it anymore.”

What gets in our way every single time is fear. What happens is, after you write your book, you’ve got to share your book. You got to tell people about your book. You’ve got to market your book. There are many different things that you need to do. That fear does take over. I’ve had two clients that have said, “I’m busy. I can’t do it now.” That’s what happens to a lot of people when they start, “I don’t have the time. I can’t.” It’s all the fear. Yes, I’ve had clients that have said, “No. I’m going to stop.” They then call me and they’re like, “Can we start again?” I said, “Check yourself. Make sure you’re okay and you’re ready to do this.”

The first thing that we do is make that commitment. We make that decision. We say, “This is what we’re doing and we’re committed to it.” That’s where money does become that thing. You join the gym. You pay the subscription. You’re going to the gym. If you have a free membership, you go sometimes or you don’t go. When you have that exchange, it changes everything for you. I would go over a dozen books, some have been published and some people don’t want to publish. You can publish on Amazon and self-publish or you can go through a publisher. That’s all part of your personal choice.

Just because it’s comfortable doesn’t mean it’s right. If you find you are convincing yourself its right, then you need to reexamine. Click To Tweet

I have a question about those relationships that you’re talking about. I think about that fear of exposure. My husband or my children didn’t sign up to have these stories shared with the world, yet there is something inside of me that wants to share these stories because they’re learning. It’s not like a moment for me to point the finger, “I can’t believe you did that.” It’s also my ownership of creating the situation and all the thinking that I’ve done about different conflicts and what I own and what the other person owns. Did you have issues with sharing?

Absolutely. I changed everybody’s names first. I had to be mindful. I live in Kingston, Jamaica. I see these people. It’s a small community. I go out and people see me and they’re like, “There’s Sandra.” The most interesting thing is that people were dying to read my book. They’re like, “What dirt is she going to share about so and so?” People see me in my relationships. They’re like, “You didn’t do that.” My editor said to me, “It’s like everything you’ve been through, you can’t say that any of those people were bad people.” It was all based on how I shared it. What I said and what the words we use are important. It’s not, “He hurt me.” It’s, “I was hurt by.” You changed the dynamic of that storytelling. Again, no one in Jamaica or anybody in the world, although I tell you in clear words in my story and I share specific pain of what I’ve been through, it’s my story and how it felt for me and not anybody else’s. I don’t talk about anybody else in the book. I talk about my personal experience and how it felt for me.

It’s powerful that you say the writing itself can be quite therapeutic. When I was going through some troubled times, different times throughout my life, whether it be grief, sadness, upset, or even happiness, I love to write in my journal. It feels good. Even to write a letter to someone and then burn it feels good. What is that process? You mentioned somewhere in your writing that there was an actual third eye connection. Can you talk about that a bit?

In my book writing process and I share it in my workshops, with friends, and in all of my programs, I put you through meditation. In that meditation, we go through a process of finding clarity and getting in touch with our senses and how we’re physically feeling. Through that process, you get centered. After that process, I put you through some prompts. I ask you questions about meditation and you find another level of clarity. It is a connection through your chakras. This happened spontaneously because of being connected.

It’s like when you’re meditating and you get present at the moment and you find that quiet and you’re only focused on whatever the guide is telling you or whatever you’re putting yourself through during the meditation. You can be silent but you have to be reminding yourself to be silent, focused, and quiet. There’s that word. That process is what supports that quiet. You’re then able to go back to that meditation whenever you’re ready because it brings back the memory. It reminds you of the intention behind the writing.

I would like to ask about your modeling career. It sounds exciting. It sounds fun. Why did you stop?

It was wonderful. I stopped because I got married. I was living in South Beach and we met. I came to Jamaica and I started coming because that’s how it happened. He was living here from a powerful and wealthy family. I was taken here, “You now belong to us.” I didn’t have a say. I was here and we were getting married. Within eight months of meeting, I was walking down the aisle. I was in Japan after we met. I had a contract in Japan and we exchanged via fax every single day. I’d run around to the agency and I pick up the fax. I have every single one of them, our love letters back and forth.

I cut my contract. I came back to Jamaica. He proposed. My father-in-law said, “You’re getting married on June 20th. It’s my 60th birthday. We’ll have a celebration.” My mother-in-law was ill. My mother-in-law was dying of cancer. It was almost a farewell for her. She was somebody that was very beloved here in Jamaica. I was like an invited guest. It was the reason to have people fly in from halfway around the world to see her one last time. She was a wonderful woman, kind, and charitable. That was the reason for that. That wedding created some solace and some distraction from what was happening in the family. That was it. My life disappeared. It was like, “All done.”

Do you ever think back that maybe you’d like to visit that again? You are beautiful and radiant. I can’t say enough about that. Your presence is positive and beautiful.

Thank you. I love modeling. I do shoots every once in a while for my social media. That’s the only part that I enjoy. The photographer and I will go off somewhere. I bring a couple of outfits and we do it and I enjoy it. If someone said, “Do you want to do it professionally again?” I would. I enjoy it so much. It was a great experience for me. I don’t have negative memories of my modeling career. I had female agents that were protective. It was professional. I worked a lot. I didn’t go after it. That’s another thing. It wasn’t like, “I want to be a model.” I didn’t pursue it. It was always positive. I love it. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

GG 46 | Letting Go
Letting Go: When you are writing your own memoir, you don’t need to do research as it’s your life, you just need to be committed and take the time to do it.

 

Dena?

I was curious about other passions you have or other things that make you happy in life. You’re coaching, writing, and you love modeling but are there other parts?

I love supporting others and being in a space where someone can call me and feel comfortable to say, “I’m going through this.” Have a conversation. You don’t know what comes up. A lot of the time, you’re speaking to someone thinking and you’re like, “For what? I didn’t do anything.” It’s holding space for someone. I know those words get thrown around a lot but there’s a lot of power that comes from that for the person you’re holding space for because they’re being heard and they are hearing themselves.

I love to take a drive and see the mountains. Sometimes I go to Ocho Rios just for the drive because the mountains here make me happy. I love being with my adults. I love being in their presence, cooking for them, and being there for them. Those are my passions. Being in gratitude. Things are hard, especially with what’s happened in this time and in this experience that we’re all living. Finding gratitude and that practice of being in gratitude is something that I love. I love house music.

What’s your favorite song?

I don’t know right now what’s my favorite song.

We’re all nodding our heads that we’re going to sign up. Camille?

I have one question. Since you brought up about when you got married, you lost yourself in the marriage. That’s common. Sometimes that happens when women get married. Looking back, were there any signs where you noticed this start happening or when I should have made a different turn? What advice you would give to someone else that might be starting to notice, “I’m losing myself in this relationship.”

For me, this starts before you get married. This starts with conversation and communication. That’s another human nature, nurturing and wanting to be taken care of. I wanted to be the wife. I loved it. My mom did it. You watch what people are doing. This is one thing I tell my children all the time, I always told them growing up is, “If something feels familiar, you’re comfortable with it, you’re doing it but there’s something in your stomach that’s telling you otherwise, check it. Think about it and investigate.” I told them, “Just because it’s comfortable and familiar, it doesn’t mean it’s right. It could have been something you watched me do. It doesn’t mean that because I’m your mom that it was the right thing.”

If it’s not sitting with you but it feels familiar and comfortable, check that discomfort and comfort through it. There’s a real disconnect there if you’re not mindful of that, “I can do this.” When you find yourself convincing yourself that, “This is fine. This is okay.” Those things, that’s when you need to start watching. For me, it’s before you get into the marriage. Before you get there, have those conversations and try your best to do those things that make you happy. Resentment is the worst thing for any relationship.

Sandra, thank you for being the goddess of sparkle. I wore my sparkly diamonds. I love these little sparkles because they remind us of taking care of ourselves, nurturing ourselves, listening to our intuition, our gut feelings, our guidance. It seems like you have done that and you’re doing that to help others. For people that are reading, how can they connect with you?

If you can help even one person, then it is all worth it! Click To Tweet

You can go to my website, CutsOfADiamond.com. Everything is there. All my programs are there. If you’re going to social media, if you’re going to Instagram, it’s Sandra Rodriguez Bicknell. You can send me a direct message there. If you have any questions or you want to ask me anything, that’s great. My email address is Sandra@CutsOfADiamond.com. I’m open to hearing from anybody who has any questions.

Thank you for sharing.

You haven’t given up on love. Have you found love again?

I had not given up on love. I know that love is coming. I know it’s on its way. I know that it’s not going to be the right love until I am sure that I’ve checked my shadow and the things that upset me, my fears, and all the things that come up during those times of fear, whether it be in life, in stress or in work. All of those things show us what it is that we need to work through. Truly, I don’t want to be in a relationship until I’m sure that I’ve touched on it. It’s a lifelong journey. We’ll always have things that we need to correct, love, nurture, or be aware of. I have not given up on love. I’m excited about love. I have not been in a committed relationship since I left my last partner in 2016. I’m truly excited about that.

That’s beautiful. Sandra, thank you so much for joining us on the show.

Thank you so much for having me. Thank you, ladies.

Welcome, Goddesses, to favorite things with our guests, Sandra Rodriguez Bicknell. Sandra, what brings you happiness that you would like to share with us?

This is an old phone. This was my dad’s phone. He was a superintendent of a building where I was growing up. This was on his desk and he had all these incredible antiques and things that people would leave behind when they’d either move out or pass away that the family members would leave. This was something that I treasured. I remember going to his office and seeing it all the time. I’ve had it for over fifteen years and I travel with it. If I move, it comes along with me. It’s heavy but it’s my favorite thing. It reminds me of many different parts of my life and it brings me so much joy.

It’s very symbolic of what you do, connecting with people.

It reminds me of conversations, sitting on the phone, seeing my mom talking to my grandmother or my aunt direct the line, and the intimacy of communication when I was growing up.

I don’t know if your children are adults now. I don’t know if my children, with that type of phone, would know how to use it. They would be like, “What? How do you dial?”

I’m going to connect it because it works. It’s funny that you say that.

They probably say, “Siri, call.”

It is gold.

It centers back to the reality of where we came from. Camille, can you share your favorite thing?

I am a pop culture junkie. I love getting random knickknacks. One of my girlfriends went to Meghan and Harry’s wedding. She’s getting ready to move and gave me all of the knickknacks she bought while she was there. These are my favorite things. I have a whole shrine of all the things she brought me back. One of them is a little key chain from Windsor. We woke up at 4:00 AM to watch it, my daughter and me. We’re dressed in our crowns. It was a lot of fun. It brings back cute memories. Also, I have a whole shrine for Meghan and Harry. It brings me happiness.

It took me a moment to realize that you were speaking about the Royals. I was like, “Is that Tony and Tina’s wedding?” I was thinking for a minute and I was like, “That’s huge.”

They’ve moved. They’re living in America.

Not that I stalk them.

For our generation, I watched Diana and Charles’ wedding. Did you guys, too?

Of course.

I remember where I was when I heard when she had passed. I grew up in Europe, so it was a big deal over there, the Royal Family, compared to here.

Thank you for sharing, Camille. Rachel, what did you bring?

This is a little bit shallower than the telephone. We do this all the time. Sometimes it’s fun items that we like.

You will never run out of favorite things.

This is a lip balm. It’s made by Beautycounter. It has peppermint in it. I don’t know if you know about Beautycounter but it’s one of those lines where people sell it personally and you go to someone’s house and they tell you a story like Tupperware. This is all-natural. That’s the whole point of this line. I’m not wearing any lipstick. The only thing I’m wearing is this lip balm. It feels good and smooth. It’s minty and it’s natural peppermint. You purse your lips, you look a little bit sexier with it on. I have one of these in my car, in my purse, in my bathroom all the time. I’ve given it to my friends. I love this.

Rachel, I was reviewing favorite things over the 30-plus episodes that we’ve done and you have the best creams, rubs, scrubs, lotions. You are a goddess of loving lotions.

Thank you. I make my essential oil blend for my skin. I love this stuff.

GG 46 | Letting Go
Letting Go: Be very clear with your partner before marriage.

 

You should start selling your stuff, honestly. She has a whole broom spray. It’s amazing. Dena, what did you bring?

I brought something and then Karen pointed something out when we got on the call, so I’m changing gears because it makes more sense. I have this little diamond necklace. The diamond was my grandmother’s wedding ring. My mom and dad reset it and gave it to me. I wear it all the time. I never take it off. It keeps me close to my family and my grandmother and it’s special. The other thing, I’ll do that one another time.

That’s the first thing I saw. You said you wear it all the time but maybe I was focusing on diamonds because of our guest.

That’s in the title.

I brought something sparkly, too, besides my little fake ring. This is more meaningful to me. It is a gemstone. It’s natural Amethyst with a little Canadian flag. I have many stones beside my bed but this stone, my son gave to me right before he moved to Toronto, Canada. I’m from Canada and I moved here years ago. I always thought my kids would stay here but my son went back. It’s interesting how life works out. You make plans and it doesn’t go as planned.

He is there. This was his favorite beside his bed. He gave it to me and it was touching. I said, “No. It’s yours. Keep it.” He’s like, “No, mom. It will remind you of your home and me.” It does. I love it. It’s special to me. It’s sparkly. It’s always nice to have sparkle, whether it be in a gloss or diamond or a memory. It’s fun to share our favorite thing. Thank you, Sandra, for joining us. Thank you featured goddesses. Have a sparkly day.

Thank you.

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About Sandra Rodriguez Bicknell

GG 46 | Letting GoA woman and spiritual being, Sandra Rodrigues-Bicknell was born to Cuban immigrants living and working in NYC. At the age of 21, a serendipitous encounter launched her a modeling career and transformed her life, as she knew it.

Before long, Sandra was traveling the world as a top international model. Four years later, at the age of 25, she married and moved to her husband’s homeland, Jamaica, to start a family and build a successful jewelry business. The marriage ended after six years and two children. Sandra was left to pick up the pieces, both for her own wellbeing as well as for her children.

Sandra fell in love again, but after a blissful ten-year romance, she was once again on her own, start over and reinvent herself. After some time, she rekindled a romance that she had left behind, but this, also, was not meant to be. Sandra has decided to use her experiences to comfort and guide those who are experiencing the same darkness that she herself has endured. Fulfilling her lifelong dream as the best-selling author of Cuts of a Diamond where she talks about her perspective on love, forgiveness and human nature, and a writing coach, helping to inspire women to embrace the power of self-discovery.

Sandra now leads her signature writing programs, Rewrite Your Story, designed to lead you through a journey of introspection, change the narrative, and celebrate the victories and The Writer’s Muse, where she works specifically with change-makers, new thought leaders, healers & facilitators who want to anchor their message through writing their first boo.

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