GG 48 | Cutting Cords

Michelle Welch On Boundaries And How To Stop Cutting Cords With People

GG 48 | Cutting Cords

 

Every one of us have people that move in and out of our lives. Sometimes we need to set boundaries with these people. We may even feel the need to start cutting cords or cutting our connections with them. Today’s guest, author, “reformed attorney,” and ordained minister Michelle Welch teaches us that we don’t always need to cut cords with people. We can choose a different way to set boundaries and learn how to come to a place of forgiveness for ourselves. Michelle also discusses setting boundaries with love and forgiveness, and healing our cords with others.

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Michelle Welch On Boundaries And How To Stop Cutting Cords With People

The Magic Of Connections

Michelle Welch is the author of The Magic of Connection, published by Llewellyn Worldwide. She is also the owner of two SoulTopia metaphysical stores in Dallas, Texas where she offers intuitive readings and healing sessions in addition to teaching classes on crystals, tarot, energy work and intuition. A reformed attorney, Michelle is still an active attorney licensed in the State of Texas and has lent her intuitive abilities on numerous court cases. She is the host of the SoulWhat podcast and the Michelle SoulTopia YouTube channel. She is also an ordained minister and holds many certificates in various divination and healing modalities. MichelleWelch.com, SoulTopia.guru or MySoulTopia.com has seen on CBS News, Inside Edition, Coast to Coast, The Jenny McCarthy Show, Ask the Oracles, JustBernard, T Love’s Blog Talk Radio, The Morning After and Good Morning Texas. Michelle, welcome to the show.

I’m on this personal journey of self-discovery and self-awareness. One of the things I’ve learned, especially in my mid-50s and we all continue to learn as women as we grow up is how to set boundaries. How do we allow people into our lives, even family members but yet they could be draining and toxic? How do we take that step back? Sometimes, I cut that cord. I’m learning from Michelle Welch, our guest, in her book, The Magic of Connection, to stop cutting cords and learn to transform negative energy to live an empowered life. I’m learning so much about how to use my superhero gems or any type of other protection that I have and learn how to transmute that energy rather than cutting those cords.

I always like to look at my life as an orchestra and everyone’s coming to the show. I’m on stage. I’ve learned to have some people in my orchestra, my family, my husband, my children and my parents. Sometimes my kids move to different levels in the show. They’re in my front, 2nd, third row, all the way back to the back row, the balcony, lobby, street, even people who are buying tickets to the show and they can’t get in. I’ve learned to do that. I’d love to run that by Michelle to see if that’s a way of transmuting. We’re excited to dive in deep with Michelle to talk about all of these topics. Michelle, welcome to the show.

How are you doing?

I’m good. What do you think of my analogy? After reading your book, I started to think that maybe my analogy is on the topic because I am visualizing people not necessarily cut in different stages and rows of the show.

I like that analogy a lot. I wish I’d put it in the book. I used one a little bit like it, the one when I’m picking a jury. There are people who are on the front row. They’re in the splash zone. If you’ve got a Blue Man Group, you might want to put on your poncho because you’re going to get in. I used it a little bit differently. That energy is going to be right there with you. The ones in the back row pretty good chance are not going to put on the jury because your way in the back, especially on a capital murder case. The people in the front row, you better be ready for questions because you’re in the splash zone. It reminded me that analogy. You used it in a little different way, so I love it.

I agree with you as far as people coming in and out of our lives for a reason and that circle of who’s going to be tied and the outskirts of our life. That may change at different times. For me, the most important thing is to realize and tell people that I’m never saying that we shouldn’t set boundaries with people because we need to set boundaries with people. I’m looking at a different way of how we do it and how we part company with people or put them in the outskirts of our lives and how that might look. I saw it get worse during the height of social media craziness during the election and that’s when I was writing the book in some different ways of doing that than cutting cords.

Your analogy with the splash guard, does that mean for me for example, for my analogy, I’m on stage and people are in my show, for that, it’s putting myself in the back row so I don’t get splashed?

It could be that. Another way to even look at it is we’re all one. It is my premise. I do it like a case because I’m a lawyer. I take it step by step. When I’m bringing energy at you, let’s say I’m not in a great mood. I might call and say, “I’m about to energetically vomit on you. Are you ready? Do you want to hear?” I’m preparing maybe that front row to be careful because I’m in your energy and you may hear some disconcerting things. Whereas the people on the back row, they’re falling asleep. They know they might not get picked on the jury. I’m not as in their energy as I would be the people way on the back rows.

You’re protecting yourself with the cloak and all of those splash guards because that can happen with family where you cannot cut the cord. If you do, it’s devastating. My mom, her father stopped talking to his son for years and we weren’t allowed to talk to him. It was horrible because I remember growing up when I finally found out I had an uncle and I wasn’t allowed to talk to him then when my grandfather died, I was. I don’t know how my mom cut that cord for that time. It’s hard when it’s family that you love and care for but yet people feel like you have to cut them out. I love what you’re teaching, practical ways to keep them connected but at a distance.

People who are in the front row of a jury symbolize the splash row. Energy is right there with you in that front row. Click To Tweet

I have a podcast called SoulWhat. I’m having Jan Langbein. She’s known here in Dallas. She was one of the advisors to George Debbie when he was in office for domestic violence. She’s the CEO of Genesis Women’s Shelter here in Dallas. It’s a good model of domestic violence shelters and I’ve been involved for a long time. Maybe for ourselves, we’re going to forgive somebody only if it is for us that we’re going to heal our part of the courthouse.

I was talking and somebody kept saying, “But they.” I said, “Let’s not think about that person anymore. Let’s think about you. It’s been twenty years and you’re still talking about what your ex-husband did. You’re miserable.” I’m not a counselor. It was a friend of mine. I said, “Why don’t we think about you and how you’re going to be happier? Why don’t we heal your part? Not that you did anything wrong. Even if you didn’t do a thing ever wrong, you’re a perfect person. Let’s say you had no culpability. Let’s still heal your part of the cord and not even think about the partner. That can be healing.”

I’ve seen over and over in my practice that the minute people try to cut a cord, they’ll come to me and they’ve spent a lot of money. I’m not attacking people who cut cords who do it for a living. If they do, it works and they have clients that it works for, more power to them. Llewellyn chose to put this subtitle right there at the beginning, Stop Cutting Cords. I love Llewellyn. I love my publisher. They had me own it because it is what I believe. If somebody else doesn’t believe it and it works for them, by all means, keep doing it. What happened with us is every time somebody came in. They’d be like, “I’ve had it with these cords cut so many times.”

My premise is, “We’re all one.” We’re uniquely and individually beautifully made. If we’re cutting parts of ourselves off and we keep cutting over here and, “I’m going to cut that person off. I’m going to block that person. You can’t talk to that person because I blocked them. You all can’t talk. You can’t talk.” It gets difficult. I have cords of connection that I need to work on that I have not worked through. I have got to come to a place of forgiveness for myself. Even if I hadn’t realized my part in it, which I need to realize that, I still know I have some cords I’ve got to work on. There can also be situations, jobs, a place where you live. You can be corded to a childhood home. If you have to drive by that house and whatever feelings come up, that could be a cord of connection too that you would need to do healing on.

You can then move forward. I’d like to invite our featured goddesses to join in this discussion. We have two recovering attorneys like you, one turned a psychologist, will talk as well and a teacher joining us, too. I’m curious, Joelle, what your thoughts are. Joelle is our recovering attorney. I wonder, Joelle, do you work with your clients on this type of setting boundaries and cutting cords or not?

Talking about boundaries, defining boundaries, how to implement and maintain boundaries is I feel like a bedrock. It is a thread that weaves through all of my work. It’s universal. Like Michelle is saying, in some sense, we are one. We’re all sharing this planet, sharing energy and we’re all in relation with other people whether that relationship is feeding us and we’re feeding others. There’s a nice symbiotic relationship or whether there’s conflict and that conflict can go back generations before we were even in this physical state. That cycle of trauma and generational trauma gets filtered down and that might be affecting us and coloring what goes on between family members and us. We always have to navigate and decide, “What is okay for me? What do I have the capacity for? What can I tolerate? What energy am I capable or willing of giving to you? What can I take in return?” It’s elemental.

The mind-body-spirit connection. Alyssa, as a recovering attorney, how do you feel about the analogy?

I agree wholeheartedly with what you guys are saying. We all have these relationships in our lives. Some are symbiotic and some are filled with conflict. I can’t imagine a single person on this planet that doesn’t relate to all of this. As a recovering attorney, Michelle, I’m curious how your work as an attorney either informed your decisions to go into this completely different line of work and maybe it was the cause of it. Getting into a different headspace couldn’t be more different in many ways but certainly knowing people is critical, picking a jury, working with your clients. In many ways, it’s like being a psychologist. Maybe Joelle would agree with that. It’s knowing the people that you’re with and understanding their motivations, past and what makes them tick. I’m curious how you feel your work as an attorney brought you to where you are?

As far as the attorney, I practiced for a long time. I graduated at 24 from law school. I went straight into trying cases and been a litigator for a long time. I had three law firms, 2 in Dallas and 1 in Scottsdale with my ex-husband. Long story short, there’s been a lot of healing of cords with my ex. That’s a great example of how you stay corded to somebody even though you think, “I’m never going to get over this. I’m never going to be able to exchange kids without wanting to call the cops every time something happens.” We were to that point, two lawyers going through a divorce. It was crazy.

What happened was I’ve had these giftings. I’m that typical intuitive. I’ve seen things since I was three. I read them all and go, “I don’t want to put that on my bio. It sounds cliché.” I am that person. At a young age, I would say things to my uncle. I said something about something moving around in his head. It’s a true story. About a month later, he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Sadly, he didn’t make it. He was my godfather. I would know these things intuitively for a long time. Fast forward, I went into law. I thought I was smart at picking juries.

GG 48 | Cutting Cords
The Magic of Connection: Stop Cutting Cords & Learn to Transform Negative Energy to Live an Empowered Life

I was at the DA’s office, which was a short stint. You go for the money, sadly. I went to civil law after that. They would call me down, “Come pick my jury.” I was like, “I’m smart.” It wasn’t because I was that smart. I was intuitive. I had a lot of intuitive knowingness about these juries. As far as switching, I go out of my way to say I’m not a psychologist. My intuitive knowingness, psychic or whatever you want to call it, I don’t ever advise as though I’m a psychologist because I have not studied that. I’m not at all.

Being a lawyer and tried that many cases, what I did see is I saw case after case. I came and opened these two stores, worked a lot with energy work and clients that I would read for and solve case after case where people tried to part company with people. The book is a lot about being an empath also and how they would try to cut cords and in lawsuits too, “I’m done with you. I’m going to get rid of you.” Even in a civil litigation suit, “We’re done. I’m never going to feel bad again. I’m over that.” It would affect people for a long time because they didn’t heal.

I have two great examples in the book about forgiveness. It’s in the chapter Forgiveness from a Distance. One of my good friends here in Dallas is in a suburb of Frisco. Her son was fourteen at the time, before the Virginia Tech shootings. This want-to-be serial killer knocked on their door. My friend was out eating with her husband so was her fourteen-year-old son at home. He opens the door and the want-to-be serial killer shoots him. He lived. She wrote a book, Keep Searching for Blue Jays. We sell it the store. It’s good. A lot came out of that book.

Her son, Bryan, when interviewed by Dateline or one of those that he was on, because of the timing, got a lot of national press. Sadly, that would be the reason that he got a lot of national press. He was fourteen and he got shot. He wouldn’t think that would get a lot of national press anyway. He said, “I forgive the shooter. He needs consequences. He needs to get help. I forgive him.” There was another case in Dallas where a police officer accidentally went into the wrong apartment. It was one floor off from hers. She shot the person who was coming at her because she thought it was in her apartment. She shot and killed the man.

She said, “I meant to kill him. I meant to do it. I thought it was my apartment. I thought somebody was in there. I intended to shoot him.” She was found guilty. The brother of the victim asked the judge, “Could I please go give her a hug?” The judge gave the brother permission to get down off the stand and give the police officer who was the defendant and was going to jail a hug. The newspapers in Dallas and a lot of the journalists from all over said that they have never seen anything like it, the forgiveness that happened at that moment. It was the most chilling and beautiful thing they’ve ever seen. There was so much anger in that case. You all know where I’m going with this. That’s forgiveness from a distance.

It doesn’t mean that you’re going to be best friends with those people or you’re going to, “It’s fine. I’m going to discount. You don’t need to go to jail. You don’t need to pay the price.” Everybody that goes to my book, the first thing they say, “If you aren’t supposed to cut cords, what about a pedophile?” I’m like, “Read the book because that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying it’s for you. You work on that healing because no matter how much you try to cut the cord, the minute something reminds you of it, that cord is still there. It’s not cut. It’s dormant. It fires back up that fast unless you’ve had healing.” I’ve sent a lot of people to a psychologist because I’m not one. It fires back up. You haven’t done the work and then there’s that pain again. A lot about forgiveness is what this book is about.

I remember watching that on the news when he went over. I was shocked. Do you guys remember that?

Yes.

A lot of people were mad. It happened. It’s in the book. How did you feel when you saw it?

I reread it. When I saw it, I was touched. I remember seeing it and thinking, “I don’t know if I could ever do that.” I gave him a lot of credit. I am sure that he’s probably in a better place that he could do that. When people can do that, I feel like they’ve let things go so that they could live and not be bogged down by that hatred and that feeling. I was in awe. I try and teach forgiveness to my children and yet I don’t always do it myself. It is an incredible lesson. Dena, what would you like to ask or add?

Let’s look at a different way to set boundaries instead of cutting people out of our lives. Click To Tweet

I’m not quite sure about the timeline but it sounds a little bit to me that your divorce did put you in this need to start working on this forgiveness and this healing. I know you always had this intuition about yourself but it sounds more like that was the trigger. Is that correct?

That’s a part of it. That’s one where I could look at myself and say, “Michelle, you’ve got a lot of work to do.” You’re intuitive and a good lawyer.

Everybody has things in their lives that they’re working on or should be working on, some bigger and some smaller. Yours was a big event. I feel that big events are the ones that put you in the position of, “I got to do some work here. I got to do some change. This isn’t healthy. This isn’t right.” Can you speak to maybe something that is not a big event and where you look at yourself on a smaller scale and still work on healing and not cutting cords but keeping the energy good and fluid?

Dena, what would be an example, a friend?

I guess so. I only operate on a big platform in my life, the things that have happened. It’s noticeable to me when it’s a big event. I know everybody doesn’t have that, thankfully and unfortunately. I feel like a lot of people are more stuck in those little things. In a good way, a big event that makes you wake up and say, “I got to do something here. I’m grateful for that,” even though the event may have been not good or pleasurable.

It’s in the book. I have a list in the book of times to maybe practice. You walk by that same person at work and you can tell that they’re like, “There she goes again.” You can feel it. Somebody cuts you off in traffic and you want to get mad. That’s a good one for me to practice because I want to go, “Let me pull back up around them.” There are times when I’m in that mood. I give a list of things. That why don’t we start with the little things so that when we get to something big in our lives, maybe we’re more prepared for what I call transmute energy? We can change the form of energy. That’s why I don’t think we need to cut cords. That’s the reason.

If we couldn’t transmute energy which means change it into something else, if everything is energy, if it never goes away, it only changes forms. It is the Law of Thermodynamics, the Conservation of Energy aspect. That’s science. If there’s only a limited amount, it never goes away. It only changes form. If I’m absorbing energy, I’m also going to still need those tools and all those potential things we use because there are going to be some times where I haven’t practiced the little times where I could have said to the lady maybe she’s snarky to me. I think it because I’m sensitive and I haven’t worked on it. I’m thinking, “She’s rude.” Instead, I can take that energy and go, “Let me change that energy into some vitality for myself.” Maybe I should think, “She’s had a hard day.” Give her some love back energetically. Change that into something else.

I talked about in my book where I had these candles lined up in my house when I was going through my divorce. I know how to work with candles. I’ll light a candle for this. I’m not one to go putting curses. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’ll light a candle for, “Good luck with the court case.” I did one when my daughter was going through a sorority rush at UT. That was the most paranoid I’d ever been because I didn’t want her poor little heart to be broken. I was like, “Let me go through that rush thing because I don’t care.” I was lighting a candle for that when we were going through it. He signed off on being in this book.

Llewellyn kept saying, “You got to get that permission.” He signed it in five seconds because I told the story about all these candles lined up. All they were was anger. It was my anger. It was being in this low vibration, bitter, not a nice person. I was putting it all in these candles. I created a thought form of dark energy. It was a lot of anger. If you find out there’s a party and you’re not invited. You think, “I was left out,” or you find out that you were left out. Things like that aren’t as big of a deal, so that when we get to the big ones, we are trained, we’ve done the practice and the work to handle the big stuff. If you start with the big stuff, you’ll be like me.

One of the lessons that I always tell my kids that I have to practice is, “Treat others how you would like to be treated. You smile at people and that will change the energy. You hold the door for someone. All those simple little things. Saying thank you to the barista for your coffee and not taking it, grumbling and walking away. All of those positive little things that you put out to the world so that it will come back to you.”

GG 48 | Cutting Cords
Keep Searching for Blue Jays: I’m With You Always

I know it’s in the Four Agreements but I like where he says, “Don’t make assumptions.” People who identify as being an empath which I talk a lot about in my book. I don’t think empaths should make a lot of excuses. I get tired of, “I am one,” and I’ve made a lot of excuses. “That’s their energy.” I would blame a lot on other people instead of minding my energy. I’d be like, “It didn’t seem that Dena liked me. I’m not sure.” I would always make it about me. It’s almost like reverse narcissism. I’d be like, “I’m not so sure.” It’s not my whole life I would feel that way. It’s insecurity. It was like I was full of myself in a reverse way. I was insecure in an empathic way. When I walked into a room, I couldn’t sense energy. A lot of empaths could. A lot of times, it’s not about me. Maybe they haven’t had a good day, they have a headache or they’re thinking about their child has to get ten things done and they’re worried about the story thing as I was talking about.

As an empath, I always made it about me. It’s like, “What did I do wrong? They don’t like me.” I tie all that in two. It’s like two books in one because I talked a lot about empaths and how we take on that energy. A lot of us don’t manage our energy. I’ll be the first to admit that I didn’t and sometimes don’t. I’m working on it. We don’t manage our energy. Instead, we are busy trying to dissect everybody else’s energy. I’m not looking at my energy saying, “My energy is clean on this. If so and so is acting in that way, something’s going on with them or that’s their issue.” I’ll manage my energy.

What you’re saying reminds me of this quote and it’s about not judging other people because everyone’s fighting a battle that we know nothing about. We might see some behavior or we might perceive some feeling off of them. It’s getting filtered through all of our experiences and our worldview. It may have absolutely nothing to do with what they’re intending to put out. They’re dealing with whatever battles they’re fighting that we know nothing about. It’s hard because it can be reflexive to think, “She didn’t smile nicely. She doesn’t like me.” We’re filtering it through many of our thoughts, insecurities and experiences from the past. Who knows where that person’s mind is or what they’re preoccupied with or what significant struggle they’re dealing with and it has nothing to do with us? I like what you’re saying about, “If I’ve conducted myself and if my energy is clean, let it be.”

Michelle, you talked about the different levels of empaths and how we can go through those levels. There are 3 or 4. Can you elaborate on those?

There are three that I mentioned in the book. The first one is the unequipped empath. Some other books might call that immature empath. I will take issue with that. Those of us who are empaths, we’re not immature in it at all. We’ve got it down. We’re good at being an empath. We’re not immature at it. We’re not equipped. It’s good for parents to read this. There are a lot of good books that explain what an empath is. There are even quizzes in Cosmopolitan. What that means is, “I’m taking on all these feelings. It’s the typical one that walks to the right door. I’m not being ugly because it was me.” They would be, “I’m an empath. I can’t be around people because they’re too negative. I can’t do that because the crowd overwhelms me.” It was a lot of, “I can’t,” because of other people’s energies.

The second level is an empath in training. That’s when we can use all the tools. None of them is a bad level to be at and it’s cyclical. I use the superhero’s journey. You’re an unequipped empath. I may go back into that at times and I slip right back into them. I’m back where I started. It’s okay. The empath in training is where we’re getting tools like crystals where we might have a psychologist that helps us. For me, tools from my store like herbs, a spirit guide, an archangel, a deity in our life, God, bubbles of protection and incense. I list a lot in the book, especially bubbles of protection, an egg, and an invisibility cloak. We still may need those.

The third level is where I don’t think anyone has taken a shot. That’s what I couldn’t find in all the books I’ve read. I’m not trying to cut them down. It’s time for the next step. I was like, “How do I stop protecting?” This is what got me to write the book. One of the big things is I would sell this to empaths because I’d say, “It absorbs energy. It’ll deflect and protect you,” it’s a protective stone, “It also will transmute energy.” I’m not making it up.

I started to think, “If this can do that, why can’t we?” If we’re empowered as empaths, why can’t we do all those things? That last step is to be an equipped empath and that is to learn how to transmute the energy ourselves. I give a lot of exercises in the book. A lot of it is visualization. How do you change that energy into something else? It might be a blob of ick that you feel. You can give it a color and a name. You then change that energy into something you can use for yourself. Those are the three levels in a nutshell.

You talked about visualizations, meditations, mantras, affirmations, intention setting and letting things go. It’s releasing, surrendering and not allowing yourself to be that victim. Do you know about the Hawaiian ritual Ho’oponopono?

I do.

Don’t always think about 'they' think about 'you' and how are you going to be happier and not what 'they' did to you. Click To Tweet

From another intuitive, she was on the show. She did that exercise in the after-show with me and stayed on. A few people were still on and she did this exercise. It’s like the rituals that you’re describing, letting things go and saying a mantra over and over. In it, you even say, “I love you,” to that person who is perhaps in your life that you need to forgive. There was an individual that had stayed on, that had been raped when she was younger. She was having a difficult time visualizing saying, “I love you,” to that person. We were talking after about if she does come to a place where she could do that, she’ll release that negative cord. Do you agree?

I do. I do understand and I’m not just saying how hard it would be to say the last one. I know a lot about that healing. One of my best friends does that. She lives in Germany. She does the same stuff and writes books. Toni Puhle is her name. She is wonderful. The healing method she uses. She uses it with me a lot when I call and say, “I can’t do it.”

I found the words, “I’m sorry. I forgive you. I love you. Thank you.” You can add, “I am worthy. I am enough.” She also suggested that you can do this for yourself in the mirror. You tell yourself all of these. When I was rereading your book and all of your affirmations and visualizations, I was feeling that it encompasses a lot of what you do. You do repeat the ending but that’s okay because I love it. You wrote about connecting to Mother Earth. These are many of the several visualizations. “Once you complete that, bring your hands together in the middle of your chest in a prayer-like position and give gratitude for the transmutation of any energy that did not serve your highest and best good. Ground yourself by feeling the connection from your feet to Mother Earth. You are one with her.”

“Feel energetic roots extending from the bottoms of your feet down into the core of Mother Earth. Wrap the roots around her core and pull some energy back up through your feet and into the rest of your body. Always remember to send some of your gratitude and loving energy through your feet to Mother Earth. Now imagine a place in the cosmos such as a star or a planet.” I love this part because usually, it’s grounding but this is the opposite. It’s pulling in a sense or connecting. “Your higher or soul self may originate from here. Visualize lassoing some of your energy around that star or planet. Give it a little tug. Now, you’re equally grounded between heaven and Earth. When you are ready, bring your attention back into the room and your body, wiggle your fingers and slowly wake up.” You have that similar ritual at the end of most of your visualizations. I do love that. Have you guys heard of that where you ground, you also connect and it’s all one?

Probably not.

It’s something you came up with. I’ve only heard about grounding but not connecting as well. Alyssa, do you have any further questions or comments?

We heard about surrounding and connecting to Mother Earth from several of our guests. This idea of connecting to the stars and finding that dual connection was new to me. I have a question speaking about the heavens. There’s been this thought running through my head about faith and religion. We were talking about that case and I remember reading about it where they went up and wanted to hug the defendant and offer forgiveness. I probably felt it back then too.

I had no idea why but that person seemed like a deeply religious person. It seemed like someone who believed in their faith and the power of forgiveness. I don’t know why I felt that way. Maybe I was wrong or right. I see that you’re also an ordained minister. We’ve been talking a lot about forgiveness. You were talking about lighting candles. There has been this whole idea of faith running through this. I wonder how much that’s a part of your belief system and how it informs your work.

It’s something I’m careful that I talk about. I was brought up in a religious home with structured ways to believe. I love my parents for that. I honor them. I have changed a little bit in what I believe having two “metaphysical” stores with crystals. It’s a big deal to some people. My kids went to a Baptist school. That goes back to Dena’s question because when I had that awakening, it was when I was still right at the end of my marriage and I was like, “There’s more.” I expanded my faith.

I was giving a speech and it was like, “What is spirituality?” I know a lot of people talk about that, the difference between spirituality and religion. “How can I connect with my higher power, what that is to me, and also not exclude anyone from believing the way they want to believe?” That’s something huge to me. I’m not pushing anything on anyone else. If you believe in cutting cords, cut cords. If that works for you, let it. In our store, everybody’s welcome. It’s inclusive. Faith is important to me and connecting with something bigger than myself. I don’t mean to cut myself down but I want to know and I do feel we’re connected to something bigger than ourselves.

GG 48 | Cutting Cords
Cutting Cords: Never say that we shouldn’t set boundaries with people because clearly, we need to set boundaries with people.

 

Faith and spirituality are important to me but it’s not defined like it would have been exactly when I was growing up. That’s part of why I ground the way I ground. Everyone always says, “Send your junk down into Mother Earth or send it to the light.” I’m like, “Why can’t we help her? Why can’t we recycle some of that energy and transmute some of that energy?” The reason I repeated that every single time back and forth in the book because I got a critique on that. You’re not supposed to read your critiques. Someone was like, “She repeats herself. I hate this.”

I like that you do because that’s part of the process. It’s that ending prayer, visualization or meditation mantra.

Thank you for saying that. We went back and forth and I felt like that was important to me. We’re not from here. Back to faith, there’s something more. I’ll tell people, “Go outside and look up.” If you knew exactly which area and star you were looking at, when you look up, it’s almost the same one every time. It’s been set. I haven’t experimented and prove that but it’s been said. At the end of my classes and my session, I have always naturally said, “You’re equally grounded now between heaven and Earth.” Like Archangel Sandalphon, that’s what he’s supposedly done.

Those things they put out at car sales or new restaurants and they look like Gumby. They’re grounded but yet they’re going like this. If you are not grounded then, to me, you’re grounded to the Earth. If we’re also from somewhere else, why don’t we just have that direct connection and ground in both places? That came to me to ground in that way. It’s important to me to feel a connection to all that is and that’s faith to me, to know that there’s something bigger than me. What also is bigger than me is the people. You guys know each other. You have this wonderful bond. Reach out and know other people and connect in that way as opposed to everybody who’s disconnecting all the time. To me, that’s spirituality, that’s faith.

You get in your 50s and you look at things. For me, in my 50s, I started looking at things and saying, “I’m not going to waste my time on stuff I don’t believe. I’m going to stop being a people-pleaser.” I was a quintessential people-pleaser. You don’t people please because you love the other person. You people please because you usually love yourself. I would people please because I didn’t want somebody to be mad at me. It was always me. I would people please and I would do things that made it look like it was for them, “I bought you this great gift.” I wouldn’t say no. I was people-pleasing because I wanted to be liked, I didn’t want them to be upset with me, have to get into a confrontation, or deal with it. It was always about me when I would people-please.

I love to give gifts but I don’t know if that’s to have people like me. I love doing that.

That might have not been a good example. I’m talking about every kind of people-pleasing when you feel like you’re people-pleasing.

It’s the intention of giving the gift is so that the person will like you. If you like giving gifts because it makes you feel good, that’s different.

I meant it as one of a whole. You tell three people, “I’ll go to lunch with you.” Two are going to be upset because you couldn’t say no to any of them. There’s no backbone. I went through a lot of that as a child, being a people pleaser. I was raised to be polite. As you get older, it’s important to know what you want to believe in. I decided that I wasn’t going to change one conditioned belief for another. If I was going to tweak some of what I believed and start asking, “Do I believe it as it was taught to me?” I didn’t throw out all of it. I’m not going to tell you I did. I still have my faith and a lot of the ways I was raised. I’m not denying that faith. Some of the people in those churches may think I did that. They may judge me as though I did but I didn’t.

I will encourage anybody else, if they have questions about their faith to look at it and say, “If you’re going to change something, don’t accept what somebody else tells you.” All of a sudden, you’re in another box of conditioned beliefs and somebody else is telling you what to believe. I decided I’m not going to do that. I’m going to always ask questions and explore. When I was young, that little lawyer thing that came out was probably confrontational. These days when I ask a question, I’m wanting to know. I want to learn from you guys and I would ask a psychologist, “What would you do? Could you help me with this?” I’ve finally come to the place where that collective body to me is spiritual and learning from them.

Come to a place of forgiveness for yourself. Click To Tweet

I wanted to switch gears. We are afraid of negative energy. There’s a temporary measure of protection as you mentioned in your book, bubbles, egg, shields, you need to read the book to understand, mirrors invisible cloak for protection. You also talked about gems. It’s funny because I always hold gems when I’m doing the show, different ones especially rose quartz. First of all, they’re smooth and fun to hold. They can transmute energy or even help protect. This one is obsidian. You said to be careful of this one too.

I get a bad rep for that. People are always joking with me, not even the book. For years, people come up to me and said, “You don’t like obsidian.” I’m like, “It’s not that I don’t like it. It’s volcanic. Get ready to tell your psychologist.”

I was told to release grief is to hold on to this. Once the grief does come up, I’ll have to deal with it. What I like so much about your book is that a lot of books and intuitives tell us all of these protective things, bubbles, walls but then the transmuted part isn’t there. There’s more that you can do. You do go through the many different visualizations, mantras and meditations that we can do to then do that without cutting the cord. That’s a wonderful way of looking at it and a way of protecting your goddess self. Thank you for sharing all of your wisdom with us. I encourage people to connect with you. How can they do that?

You can go to www.MichelleWelch.com. It’s the easiest way. You can through our stores also, they’re called SoulTopia.

Thank you for joining us on the show.

Thank you for having me. I appreciate it.

Thank you, Michelle.

Michelle, can you tell us a little bit more about moving from level to level of empath if we feel that we have some empath qualities to us? How do you develop and hone that?

There is a quiz that assesses what level you’re at. You can get different levels.

I’m a second level.

GG 48 | Cutting Cords
Cutting Cords: There are people we need to forget for ourselves. We’re going to forgive, but it’s for us to heal our part of the cord.

 

No one’s better than the other. Not many are at the transmutation or that third level yet because we’ve not been taught how. This book teaches us how. How to move from one to the other is with practice. Let’s say, Karen is at the second level. She’s still protecting. She’s still may be carrying some Black Tourmaline around and saying, “I want to make sure that I don’t let a lot of things come into the auric field that isn’t healthy for me. I want to make sure that I’m not having to deal with a lot of people’s negative energy.” That would be one example of being in level two. She might know she’s ready to move into level three if she had a situation where it’s an easy situation. She’s like, “Now I know, this isn’t that big of a deal. It’s a small thing.” We were talking about how I could practice transmuting this energy. I give a lot of exercises in the book that help us slowly learn how to change that form of energy. I hope I’m answering your question.

You do that with all different situations of people. For me, I did do that with an individual in my life before reading your book. Now I want to do it again with the exact terms that you use because I don’t think it was enough. I did decide it was not serving me to keep harboring these horrible feelings. I felt like this individual was going on with their life like nothing and sending me this stuff. I was trying to protect myself against it. It’s a distant family member. The point is that now I want to redo that because I do feel like it’ll create more lightness and I won’t keep resonating about this situation.

I give tools and samples. Maybe I’m angry at a situation because it happened or I’m still not over it and it makes me angry. I have some of those. I’m a person. The minute you decide to write a book like this, it seems like challenges come up because It’s showing me, “If you’re going to write this book, you’re going to need to at least go through it and prove you can do it,” or at least that’s how I felt. There are things such as using essential oils, for example. If somebody is into essential oils, I give different ones for different levels. If you’re in despair, grief, want to be happy or if you need to get out of anger, I give examples of what oils, herbs or what color candle you could use. It’s flowing between those levels is when you’re ready to do it.

A lot of people are in level one because they might not even know they’re an empath. It’s good for moms and dads of kids because that child might be sensitive. People might tell them, “Stop being o sensitive. Get over it. Why haven’t you gotten over this yet? Why don’t you move on?” Sometimes it’s hard for an “empath” somebody who leans into other people’s energy and feels that energy strongly. It’s hard, especially for children who feel energy strongly. Maybe they need to be sat down and told, “You are somebody who feels people’s energy strongly.” The book would be great to do some exercises with them to know how to go between those levels, too.

I’ve often wondered, “Am I an empath? Am I someone who’s extra sensitive and makes things about me too much when I should be remembering that other people’s actions aren’t always about me? Is that something that I’m picking up on?” This whole question of being an empath is interesting to me.

I do go through some of the things that will make you realize whether or not you’re an empath in the book. There are a lot of books out there on whether or not you’re an empath. I would probably venture to say you are, especially because of the field you’re in. Many people are in that field. To the extent to which you are, there are different levels. Once you find out you are an empath, which I would say probably yes, the book will give you a little quiz that you can take.

I’m not going to give away the whole quiz. For example, for the first unequipped empath, I’ll read. “I’m overwhelmed by other people at events. I often cancel or leave early,” that type of question. “I can’t watch or read anything sad or violent because it makes me too upset.” She asked a lot of questions that if you answer yes, that would be you. Empaths in training, a question would be, “I am learning. It is fine to put myself first and care for myself. I also may choose to still care for, show love and kindness to people that others think don’t deserve it.” There are all these exercises. It’s such a practical book.

On the last one, I don’t give questions.

You figure out where you are on that superhero’s journey. I highly encourage people to do this because then you can see where you’re at and then you can perform these exercises that you want to help you to move forward and be the best person you can be inside and out. That’s what we’re here for.

One more thing, that one you read on the second level, it’s a lot of, “I can’t,” for level one. Level two, it’s, “I choose.” Level three is, “I can choose or I can’t or whatever. I can move energy. I can think it and I can transmute that energy.” That’s why I didn’t put the list because you are quickly transmuting. You don’t even have time to think, “I can’t. I can. I’m choosing,” or whatever you should be doing. You’re transmuting because you’ve practiced it so much.

Try not to judge others because everyone is fighting a battle. Click To Tweet

There’s one we were talking about, “I choose to be friendly to this person even though other people think I shouldn’t be.” That was one that I pulled a whole lot of people for empathy. People get mad at me that I’m still nice to somebody who was rude to me. That’s a big sign. One of them. You don’t have to have all of them. I’m friendly to somebody even though they’re not my best friend. An empath will be that way. They’ll still sometimes be kind. They have boundaries but they won’t be hateful. They’ll be kind.

That was a big one with a lot of people who came to my store. They’re like, “I get judged for being kind to people.” I thought that was interesting. That’s why that one went in the book.

I might be wrong, but it’s like, “Keep your enemies closer,” but it’s more about showing empathy. When you said, “A lot of times, we have to think about what the other person’s going through.” What if someone didn’t invite you, include you or was mean to you because they didn’t like you? You want to block them. Why have that in your life? I know that you’re saying that because it could come back. You’re saying to heal that cord and not necessarily cut it because we’re all connected. Do I understand that right?

It’s right. You don’t have to have anything to do with that person. Here’s my premise. You can try to cut it and you’re still going to be connected. It has nothing to do with whether you are friends or not or whether you’re personal. It’s not personality. It is energy. You’re going to be connected to everything in the world. You’re connected to the tree in your backyard. If you cut it down and there’s this route there, a stump there, you’re still connected to that tree.

You’re talking about lymphomas too. You can cut them out but then they pop back up.

Let’s say you don’t want to have friends or they don’t even want to be friends with you. You’re corded to them because you’ve thought about them. You’re corded to people you don’t even know but it fires up the minute, “I might want to be friends with them but they don’t want to be friends with me at all.” The only healing that needs to take place is a comfort for you that potentially is not going to happen and, “I need to move on from this.”

Especially as a mother of daughters because girls can be mean. I know there are two women here as well that have daughters. For boys too but I feel girls can be so mean, so you want to teach our children too.

It’s not chasing the cord. You’re not chasing the other end of the core. Let’s say, Karen, we were talking and after this, it was like, “That was not a click.” People have different purposes in life and they’re not always going to be in alignment. That does mean that because your vibration and alignment are over here and mine is over here, that mines right and yours is wrong. They’re different, like two cords passing in the night.

They may not need to connect and feel like they’re connecting but it’s on some matrix level like they did in the book. Somehow, you’re all connected but it is not teaching our children that you need to go chasing down every person and trying to be friends with them. That is not what I’m talking about when I’m saying don’t cut cords. I’m saying you’re courted no matter what so mind and manage your own energy. Once you do that, I don’t mean this in a mean way, but you won’t care what they think as much in a loving way.

That’s what we need for sure. Thank you.

GG 48 | Cutting Cords
Cutting Cords: You work on that healing because no matter how much you try to cut the cord, that cord is still there. It’s just dormant.

 

Thank you.

Welcome everyone to Favorite Things with our guest, Michelle Welch. I have two favorite things I’m wearing. Michelle, I ordered one of these partly because of your book, the Mandela and it’s a bracelet. You take it off and it helps you to meditate. You count the beads. This particular one I got white because I liked white but it turns out it’s how lite. It helps with defense in eliminating stress. I like to wear it. It feels good wearing it.

The other item I bought because we’re talking a lot about light and energy but this is one of my favorites and I rarely show products like this. I love it. It’s by SkinMedica and it’s called Lytera. It’s a brightening cream. I used it because I didn’t do a good job in my teen years. I splashed on that baby oil and I used those visors back in the ‘70s. I’ve got all these sun marks on my face. Did you guys all do that? That’s crazy. Did you guys have those visors?

Yes.

I’m now using some brightening cream and this helps every day to maintain the brightness so there’s light and I can smile at people and look all bright. Those are two of my favorite things. Let’s go on to Joelle. What did you bring for show and tell?

I have two. One of them is how beautifully sunny it is after a long, gray, dull winter. I feel reborn with the beautiful weather we’re having. Another favorite thing is the necklace that I’m wearing. It’s got Lapis Lazuli on the bottom of it. I love that. I’m drawn to blue. There’s something about it. I have a couple of pieces with this Lapis. It makes me feel good seems simple. I feel like when I’m looking for something to wear, I often have been picking this one up. It makes me happy.

Michelle, can you tell us what energy that stone might emit?

It’s a dark blue stone that has pyrite in it. It’s one of the ways you can tell that it’s Lapis. It can be for your throat chakra but it’s also for your third eye, which is intuition. When you work in your line of work a lot of times, you’re intuitive and in tune with the people you’re working with. It is good for different headaches, allegedly. When I talk about the third eye, that’s where we know and discern the truth. Our throat chakra is where we speak it or listen. My husband always reminds me, “Remember the throat chakra is about listening too.” He’s right about it but it’s also where we know that we are heard not that we’re speaking our truth but we know we’re heard. That third eye is where we’re discerning truth, as opposed to, “I’m intuitive. I’m giving an intuitive reading.” It’s bigger than that. You’re doing a lot of truth discerning.

Thank you for sharing that. Dena, what did you bring?

I’m realizing that I never go to the theme of what our discussions are. There are so many different directions. If you like rice crispy treats, which I personally do, I found these rice crispy treats by MadeGood. It’s made with brown rice and it’s low in fat and calorie if that’s important to anybody out there but it is delicious. I ordered a box of six from Amazon. It was making me happy.

I’ve tasted those and they are good. I give them to the kids that I teach preschool to and they love them but I have to take them out of the wrapper because then they’re like, “No. That’s the healthy one.”

You don't people-please because you love the other person. You people please because you love yourself. Click To Tweet

Alyssa, what did you bring?

I do also like blue stones. Labradorite is the one that I’m always drawn to with jewelry. When I see one, I love it. I love the purpley bluish quality to it but that’s not what I brought. My son’s puppy. He’s a golden retriever and he’s the cutest thing ever. I can’t even tell you the amount of joy he brings me.

He’s in your house. Who is he going to belong to?

My son lives in an apartment building. He doesn’t have any personal outdoor space but he wanted to show him grass and run around. He’s in my yard now. My son texted me that he can’t bring him up because he’s passed out. He’s had so much energy.

What’s his name, Alyssa?

His name is Bucky.

Animals are so joyous. Michelle, what did you bring?

GG 48 | Cutting Cords
Cutting Cords: Instead of managing our energy, we are so busy trying to dissect everybody else’s energy.

 

I brought crystals. I have a lot of them. There’s amethyst back here and this iolite. I don’t know if you have heard of David Yurman Jewelry. When he was first popular, I got an iolite piece and now because I teach crystal certification classes, I’m like, “That was an iolite that I bought and that’s a third eye stone too.” I bought selenite. It will clear everything we were talking about. I talk in the book about your auric field and your chakras. If you do this around you like you’re going through the airport or security at the courthouse, it’s like sage. It will clear your energy and will help you sleep. It’s calming.

If somebody can’t sleep, you can get a little of that or even bigger and you can put it under their bed for children especially. Get a big piece so the babies won’t swallow it. It’s also like those old-timey casts. This is also Plaster of Paris on your walls. It’s called gypsum or samsonite. Crystals are my favorite. We have three books coming out. One of them is a book on crystals with cards to go with it. Crystals are my favorite thing because I’m immersed in crystals.

Can you use that on someone else like a magic wand as you walk around and carry it?

Absolutely. You could go clear like this and there are little pieces too. They’re wonderful.

Thank you everyone for sharing in Favorite Things on Grateful Goddesses.

Important Links:

About Michelle Welsch

GG 48 | Cutting CordsMICHELLE WELCH is the author of The Magic of Connection published by Llewelyn Worldwide. She is also the owner of two SoulTopia metaphysical stores in Dallas, TX, where she offers intuitive readings and healing sessions in addition to teaching classes on crystals, tarot, energy work, and intuition. A “reformed attorney,” Michelle is still an active attorney licensed in state of Texas and has lent her intuitive abilities to numerous court cases. She is the host of the SoulWhat podcast and the Michelle SoulTopia YouTube channel. She is also an ordained minister and holds many certificates in various divination and healing modalities. MichelleWelch.com and SoulTopia.guru or MySoulTopia.com As seen on CBS News, Inside Edition, Coast to Coast, The Jenny McCarthy Show, Ask the Oracles, JustBernard, T Love’s Blog Talk Radio, The Morning After, and Good Morning Texas.

Book Blurb:

The Magic of Connection: Stop Cutting Cords & Learn to Transform Negative Energy to Live an Empowered Life.

Living a spiritually attuned life can come with challenges. This book shows how to transform harsh energies so you can become a grounded source of love and light. Learn how empathic abilities can help you heal your inner wounds while staying connected to your community. Author Michelle Welch shows you how to work with the energies that connect all people, and instead of cutting energetic cords, you will learn to transmute challenging energies in ways that support your personal spiritual journey.

Learn how empathic abilities can help you heal your inner wounds while staying connected to your community. Author Michelle Welch shows you how to work with the energies that connect all people, and instead of cutting energetic cords, you will learn to transmute challenging energies in ways that support your personal spiritual journey.

Living a spiritually attuned life can come with challenges. This book shows how to transform harsh energies so you can become a grounded source of love and light.

Hands-On Instructions for Working With:

Meditations & Mantras, Crystals, Herbs & Oils, Ascended Masters & Archangels, Tarot Cards, Spells and Much More

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